The Fight

Your Sensei has been trolling the internet for vacuum stories again. This one comes from the personal blog of Qinwen. Drop by her site sometime while you're surfing!

between the vacuum cleaner & me.

It was one hell of a fight.

I was vacuuming my room today, cos my sis is finally coming home after 2 months of internship in Shanghai!

Must make the room clean clean to welcome her back. I'm a nice sis! (I wonder what she bought for me! :D:D)

And of course, I took a bloody long time to clear the stuff I piled onto her desk, chair and "her space" over these 2 months.

It was mainly books, scrap pieces of paper, newspapers, a water bottle and others. I even found one sock under her table.

Yes! One sock! I have no idea where is the other matching pair. Must find it soon...

And I also found my long-lost lip balm! MUAHAHAHA!

I held the lip balm in my hand while I continued to vacuum the room. Then, I saw my messy table, with bits of eraser dust and staples around. I tried to lift the vacuum cleaner head high enough to reach the table with one hand to suck in the dirty bits. After a few months of not exercising, I realized I couldn't even do that! So, I had to put my lip balm down and try again. I lifted it! Yay! Taking care to only suck in dirty stuff, I must say I failed miserably.

I SUCK MY LIP BALM INTO MY VACUUM CLEANER

Bloody hell.

I want it back so badly that I sought ways to find it back.

I opened up the backside of the vacuum cleaner. There was a few pieces of black sponge that were soft, squishy, rotten and yucky. I had to shift those pieces before quickly stuffing the black sponge back and I accidentally broke some of them into much smaller pieces. Yucks! So, no luck there.

I opened the front part of my favorite friend, the vacuum cleaner and TA-DA!

I saw the brown rubbish bag that contains my lip balm! I'm smarter than you think, I DID NOT dip my bare hands into that, I used a clipper!

Smart me!

I took about 5 minutes figuring out how to close the backside and the front part.

I turned on the vacuum cleaner again to clean the remaining part of the room.

And that was when I decided, we are friends no more. I declare

WAR!

The backside started to fart and shit!

I mean it! It was blustering out the small pieces of disgusting black sponge all over my bed and pillow!

It wouldn't stop till I turned it off!

Then I did the stupidest thing in my life ever.

I turned on it on again and tried to suck the sponges in while the other side of the vacuum was spewing more out.

Work Done = Zero

Okay. I shall just leave it at the climax. Gotta bathe and go airport now!